The nothingness of it all...

 For the first time, I feel very inconsequential and light. Like I have unraveled a secret of the universe. There was a time I held on to many things- memories, signs, gestures. Everything counted to something. In the past.

And then, something- someone died. A dream. An illusion. A piece of truth. A part of me. A memory. Or maybe just me. A concept called me in the past. When I felt I was something. When I felt I had something. Today- when circumstances come together to strip you naked- and your soul bare- you realize that something was an illusion- either that or this. And then we realize it's neither. And that's life.

What's dead- now does not exist. The question is- did it ever exist? Even for me? Life is like that you see? It will make you snap into reality. Even if you have lived for decades. It just forces you to see things for what they are. Which is that we don't even own our feelings. And everything is inconsequential.

We are just random particles participating in Brownian motion- willingly sometimes and sometimes unwillingly. 

After ages....15th June passes on.

 A few years? Or months? When time goes on a pause because work is hectic- you know things are wrong. So wrong. So. Another milestone date to remember. 15th June. 

A few things happened. My grand mother died last month. And yea- it hurts. I thought I will make use "passed on/away" but she is gone. No more. Death. Died.

Then I lost my job. That's gone too.

And now- I am just on a break. I am in no hurry to join the workforce anytime soon. I am going on a loooooong beeeeep! 

Soon. Soon.

K's world

 LKK is my Lucky charm.

I can't believe my lil one is growing up so soon! At 13, she just started her period on the 12th Sept. So many questions and so much of love!

I don't know why but I feel good about it. Like now we are equal women. Not that we weren't equal so far- but the odds are also equal now :-)

It's more than 40 days

 40 days and counting... It's supposed to be over. Like it's close to 6 weeks right? Twice the time to change the habit. 

The hurt, pain and grief only increased multifold. 

I am not going back. I need to love myself and if it means I cause more hurt to my self, it is still OK- at least I am inflicting it ans it is in my control. Unlike giving power to someone else to abuse.

Atleast- that's what I tell myself. 

My new job

 Yippee...

Things are slowly but surely changing.

I found a new role. I am excited. Old network and some good deeds help. I am grateful to people who watched my back. While there were folks who screwed my back, these are the times I am grateful. Like when I found this new role.

And yes- good deeds pay off. 

I love my new office. Love my new role. Well-so far anyway!

Fingers crossed but mostly good. I am sending loads and loads of positivity and so should you...

It's 21 days...

 This is the time it takes for habits to kick in/change/cancel.

Body remembers. Scars remind. And remain- happy and sad.

Women- Stupid...

We are epitomes of stupidity. 

We feel and believe that our love is more than enough to solve all the problems. 

Is our love enough to change a man? 

Never.