One milestone. 100.

Unsolved problems increase. To a third eye, they can always be resolved so easily. 

The broken trust and the moves only will make a body go wary and grey.

And then there is restlessness. Anger. 

Nothing can be forgotten by the body ever. Time may heal a mind, but never the body. 

A person died today. As long as she lived she was in agony. And when she died, she killed many more people. Including a bit of me.

 

The murderer

There comes a time in every life when you do realize that you have broken something that was important in another person's life. You just go and hack it with the nearest saw. Easy. You see the blood shed. You silently weep yet outwardly laugh.

To realize that you killed someone is one thing. Sometimes its unintentional. Sometimes its intentional. But living with oneself knowing that you violated someone 'unknowingly' is a killer. Someone died some more today. I killed some more of me.

Unfortunately living with a violation is a curse. Be it rape, murder, or killing something as basic as a person's values- living with it is difficult. For both the victim and the instigator. Realization is a killer.

Sometimes the truth is best left untold. Sometimes carrying baggage is easy. 

The Buddha

I wonder... Sometimes the need to walk away in search of silence is strong. The ties keep me rooted to the place.

I wonder... How did the Buddha walk away from his son and wife? Wasn't it because the wife was around to look after the son?

I wonder... If Yashodhara walked away before the man did... Would the man still have walked away?

I wonder... Did the man walk away only because of his wife?

I do wonder at times... What made him walk away? 

A richman's dream

What do the rich dream of? Maybe more money? More happiness definitely?

Where do people get happiness from? Not from other people. Or is it?

Why do we make ourselves indispensable in this world?

Are we really living a life that is fulfilling and lively?

Heck, are we living at all?

Dreams- unlimited and untold will one day just settle down in the mind. They will not create the same restlessness.

Time- is truly a phucking healer. Or so we all would like to believe. The hope, yet again, was only a chimera.

1 became 2

And.. there are things that need to be recorded- big or small for posterity. Today is one of them.

Where 1 became 2.
Where donkeys became tigers.
Where time met money.
and where soul swept further into the abyss.

Where 1 became 2.
Feelings hovered and danced around the rim.
Was it happiness or being dim?
and where the mind just became further numb.

where 1 became 2.
Poetry died further.
What was left then,
was only mashed and mushed vision.

And yet, and hence 1 became 2.

Kafka

And his Milena.

Is bliss.
Kafka has to be god.

My cranky philosophy

A tired traveler after a long odyssey comes to a place he assumes to be home.
Only to realize that the entire household and the family he thinks he belongs to does not recognize him.
He tried to shrug away the disappointment. He tries to be a hero in his eyes.
He is not allowed to be anything but happy in anybody's eyes including his own.
After a few moments of silence, he smiles.
It looked a bit happy and a lot wistful.

Life... it is!!

I am life
I am green in colour.
Death is inevitable.

Weird world...

A snippet from a conversation today.

Me- How are you X??
X-  I am doing ok.. slightly depressed these days.
Me- Why?? All ok? You need help? Why dont you come over? We can meet for sometime.
X- That'll be brilliant. Let me ask my in-laws.

I rest my case.

Not that my life is rocking. But this disturbs me to death. Unfortunately, this is enough to get me disturbed. More fool me.