Daily operational

 Day can be simply made beautiful.

All you need are a few rituals..

Your other half just smiling at you.. Or shows positivity and love.. By just being there- sending a lil something..

Calling you nick names.

Cook something nice...

Or just be there.. 

Let them know that they exist.. And that they are important enough for you.

They also live on your love.... Thrive in your love... Under your shadow of your warmth and happiness.

They wilt when it;s the same ole anger/sadness or pauses and silences full of noise.

Daily operational can be beautiful.

Have you eaten?

 So.. I thought hard.

I ask people if they'd eaten.. Usually. When I meet them.

I realized that I might actually ask them all this stuff- because no one really asks me if I ever had a meal. If I'd eaten?

Show love... Go ahead and say it.. To your partners, mothers or any other female sucker friends you might have. They most definitely will get sucked into this simple charm line.

The light in my eyes

 I look fwd to life. I really like it.

I love the laughter and people. My people.

But of late- the past few years... Have been difficult. I am unable to look thru me and understand why I am the way I am.

It's going to be incredible difficult but I will get to the depths of my soul... The process begun.

Happy Pongal...

 I like festivals.. Some of them. 

This is one of them.

Country roads... Take me home!

 Home is where the heart goes into a loop.

I listen to the comforting beat that keeps tripping.

I look at the moon every single day when it presents itself. And in those days it doesnt.

I know then... That I am home. And yet I am nowhere close to the moon. 

My moon. Take me home. I am tired.

Memories... Forgotten!

 As I was dwelling over my fav drink (and I wont tell you what :-)), I was thinking of our first kiss. I smiled and asked you- "do you remember?"

You looked absently at me. Thought for a few seconds and said, "no".

A piece of my heart was yours when I kissed you the first time. All of it. I knew it was safe till then.

Only after looking at you I realized, it was never with you.

Marriage.

 For many years- I kept living in denial that I dont like the concept of marriage. I dont believe it as an institution. I thought it was hugely patriarchal and curbs freedom of a person/people.

Perhaps, a part of the stubborn and egotistical me still believes it. But in moments like these- when the sun's just going up and the world is becoming a bit more warmer, your insides begin to thaw. And those moments- you desperately feel like sharing with someone who knows you intimately enough so you dont have to explicitly say anything. They just come and join you. 

Hell yea- I believe in a marriage. I believe that it is very romantic and beautiful that two people come together to promise that they are around forever- till death to us apart wala love. I also love weddings. I am a huge sucker. Maybe it is for people like me- that it is a thriving business :-)...

I would sleep on the lawn and dance away in the mist by the beach. I will drink up wine and do dirty dancing with friends and mine. Eat loads of good food. Make merry. Lots of smiles and tears. Lots of life. 

There's comfort, sincerity, love, devotion, loyalty, trust, laughter, joy, tears- heck I cant write enough about it. Just the feeling that there is someone like that with you who's not elusive like your shadow wish fades when there is no light- is ethereal. 

That's what it means for me. That's what marriage should be. Like be together. And have so much of love that everything else between two people that's not nice including egos vanish. There's no space for anything else but love. 

A death... It's over...

 I am debt free. Almost. In the physical world. 

I repaid my loans- Mostly. And I dont want to take anymore. 

I hope the Universe allows me to be like this. Let's see.. Fingers crossed.

The last of it will go with the proceedings of selling my scooter.

Blood money. 

I have anger. Today. Rage. About letting myself fall to this place.

Hell yea- I am debt free. With a bit of death on my hands. I sold a bit of my old soul. 

I hope my ego is a happy camper today.

Us... A part of Us... Then it;s just U.

 How do you deal with loss?

How do you deal with someone's ego?

Mine? My ego? 

Mine? Your ego? 

Mine? You? 

My scooter is gone today. 

A part of Us is gone.

Things happen. New things keep replacing Us. For you. 

What's left is Me. 

What a dimwit I am. I wasted my life. Far too much.

Not anymore. There's me. 

Mine? Me.

Raheja chi Rani...

 My queen....

My red and happy queen..

A queen who didnt see much light of the day in our kingdom- is going today.

To another home. Hopefully where they are better subjects.

I shall refuse to see you the last time. I do hope one day I bump into you somewhere (not like an accident)- but more like accidentally :-)..

Be good my friend. Many thanks for the happy moments.

You will be in good hands. They are good people. Much better than me. You shall be happy. You shall be out playing much much more. And you shall be clean and gleaming. 

Goodbye.

The chapter is over.

Bombay meri jaan...

 A part of my heart and life will always be stuck here.

I say this with bittersweet-ness.

How I wish sometimes- you can take some stuff out of your life... Like you have some fresh life into your old life?

I used to love the city. I still do- albeit reluctantly. But now... I can hear the blaring noise. The crowded spaces.. The lack of pauses. 

I want my peace back. I cant deal with this blast.

Mountains or the sea???

 I always ask this question to a lot of friends..

It makes me feel like I get some insights of who the person could be based on this answer. Totally random psycho analysis ... Something to preoccupy my mind.

But.. What do I like?? I can now say it with full confidence that I am a sea person. I like it a LOT. It reminds me a lot about me. 

I recently visited the mountains.. And I felt at home when I touched Mumbai. Yea- I love the sea.

Golf baby...

 I started by Golf classes. Beat that.

How cool is that? 

Crazy ideas in my empty mind

 My mind is draining. Faster than ever. Like I am purging big time.

Here is the thing- life looks full of possibilities. 

Am I ready to convert them?

Time will tell..... 

So....

 New year resolutions??

Never been a fan of them.

But I sure as hell took time out to plan my time out this year :-). So one resolution already checked.

I am learning to play Golf and I will ensure I will get pro by the end of this year... Tall order you say?? Heck no- I decided. I swam for the state and I will get back to a sport to play it more competitively. 

While I may not be a pro, I decided to learn the violin. Now this is a difficult thing and I have to get used to playing it- it is different and the challenge of learning another genre of music is going to be interesting enough.

I am hoping to push the envelope definitely. I shall travel more. 

Overall- I will make my life mine.

That's the call of 2023.

Happy 2023

 Hell yeah- I am intending to make something out of this year. This day. Hopefully every day.

I am praying. Not that I will not have difficulties or challenges... But that I want strength to overcome them without ranting or getting bogged down. I want to be able to resolve them with minimal impact with my daily life.

That...