And how do you write when your heart breaks?
When you are numb?
When you realize you are alone in this whole wide world- where every single person you know has a family who stick together no matter what? Criminal or not- they will stick together.
Good enough for everything else. Just not convenient enough to live with.
Yea- the heart breaks. Even if the message is unintentional.
Burns. And sees no smoke. Shows no smoke.
On a day like today, I am wondering where my life wandered.
Where was this person who could look people in the eye and tell them to fk off?
Where did the person vanish- who had the confidence to walk away and well hell- show the finger with a smile?
Who tamed me? Really!
Poetess in always on fire.
I shall only singe. And sing. And burn.
But the source of the smoke shall always vanish.
Just like a portion of me. A potion. Of me.
Sometimes, we seek answers even when we know what they would be. Even when we know we wont/dont like them. And yet- we seek that clarity.
Just to ensure there are no assumptions. Nothing is left for a guess. No stone is un-turned to see if that fk up was just a slip. Or that it never happened.
But it happened. And I have the assurance that the answer I heard that I am unable to fathom or digest is indeed that.
Well- the words are said. I am not surprised. And yet- I wish I were surprised. Just the one time.
Has been wild and short.
And then I became a confused person.
Between my imagination and his creativity, I became someone who I dont recognize.
Who am I? The thought comes often to my mind.
My own sweet affair with love. With myself.
There were series of incidents. That were unfortunate.
That is definitely a reality. It is not figment of my imagination.
There are wounds and scars that hasn't healed. Time has made me forget. But not heal.
Fate threw a challenge at me. Questioning the premise of those wounds. And scars.
Are those wounds real? I showed the scars.
Are those scars the truth? I was at a loss of words.
Fate was questioning the reality. The truth of my reality.
Maybe- the reality was created by me. Maybe- that's the truth of this universe.
