I always thought that the elusiveness of a chat was romantic. Esp when "I" felt I was the one.
When you wrote, I always felt happy that it was me you were having chats with. The sun, moon and the star. Today. I laugh at my silliness. Assumptions. Assumptions. I built an entire universe in my head around these chats. My own private heaven. Road to hell.
When younger, I was foolish and reckless to imagine I would/could be an anchor in someone else's galaxy. Like the blazing sun.
Centuries later, with a jolt I suddenly realized that I was only a teeny weeny comet. Not belonging to any galaxy. Just floats around the universe. I hold a new realization. Awareness.
Nobody belongs to anyone. Floating around is the ultimate truth. And then one day, I shall vanish.
I must have imagined so many things. Reading between the lines. I just got it all wrong. Today, I feel I have entangled myself in this complicated web of beautiful untruths that I weaved with so many pieces of threads across different planets and different periods of times and contexts. None of them seem to make sense anymore.
All that exists is a black hole which I cant seem to recognize. How does one get out? Do they? These complex structures of philosophies, values and principles- interspersed with hidden treasures- is there any light at the end of this tunnel?
Who am I? On another day- I had strong answers. Today I see that that strength was just my own thoughts.
I was living a lie. Perhaps someone elses' life. Like I realize I am a ghost.
I wonder what happened to my life? I am so deep inside this web that I wonder how do I ever get out?
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