It's ironic, isn't it? When you keep asking why your name is spelled in a certain way? Well- Gaya-tHri with an H :-).. It;s the South Indian version as I keep insisting- to reiterate your identity. You do come from a family of complicated sages with anger issues. Sorry about the gene pool but I can't really help. Yours and my karma must be deeply intertwined somewhere.
Anyway- that's not what the post is about. Today- Like many other days, I miss you oodles. I know that the birds fly away in life. They don't need nests anymore- not with the same old bird at least. But this bird- the mother bird misses tucking you under my fat feathers. Gone are the days where there was mutual warmth!
Sigh- I am not complaining dearest. I have seen you unhappy in our nest. I have seen you stressed and distressed and that's never a good sign. Esp knowing I am the reason for it kills me. Esp knowing you don't choose your mother anymore to come back to home to bothers me a bit. In my own selfish way. I had expectations my chirpy chick!
I still cannot be unhappy because you wont choose me. I am sure for a young bird who is growing up, there's so many things going on around. I can understand. This is not a call to make you come home. Mamma obviously misses you but will live with this feeling than see you unhappy. That's unbearable.
Gayathri- Fly. Soar. Spread your wings and add my years to yourself. I deeply love you. Keep living life king size. What else can a mamma tell you or give you? You are anyway me.
So yea- I miss you. I don't even hope that you will come back home. As I said- that's not a wish. Wish is that you live happy. Very joyful. And the way you want.
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