There have been many instances where people laughed, stared, mocked, appreciated, and ridiculed when they saw me eat. They wondered why I wouldnt lift my head as I eat (from my hostel days in college) to folks who wondered why I liked eating alone in school (didnt like sharing so stuck to my own dubba and my own self) to why I still prefer eating by myself even today. There was somebody who took pains to explain to me that eating is/was a social activity. Is it?? I wonder.
Then there are people who laughed at my OCD about using particular utensils for a certain set of activities. There are those who were amused that I change cutlery for different food (use fresh ones for change of a course of a meal if I were not eating with my hand). There are those who think I am too narrow minded because I have issues about eating from someone else's plate or someone else touching my food. Yes- I hate it. I said it. :-) Oh- and then there's another set of people who think i waste mental cycles by keeping so many things in mind about food and react when it doesnt happen to my convenience or comfort.
I felt like explaining this to one or two people- about the madness in the activity called eating. Honestly did. But decided against it because I didnt feel they'd ever see my point of view- and what's more- they dont have to.
Food is life for me. It matters to me that I eat and treat it with respect. There is a difference in my eyes- when you tear a piece of bread and gobble it up vs you look at it, feel happy and then tear that bread. Food is blessed. It cannot be eaten (according to me) if we feel unhappy or sad or if there's terrible company (or company you dont enjoy esp in that moment). And yes- I dont eat when I am angry. I feel that food wont help me or vice versa.
It matters to me that a particular ladle is used to serve a particular type of food. In my own head, they are related emotionally to each other (and yes- I am that mad). So- no, you cant take the rasam ladle and use it to serve rice because in my head, neither rice nor rasam nor the ladle would enjoy that experience.
Yes- I dont like sharing food. Sharing food is an intimate experience and I need to know that food has been prepared by those who lovingly made it to cater to my needs. And yes- I am that mental about eating. Yes- I dont prefer raising my head while I am eating because it matters to me that each grain on my plate feels that they are touched by me and each grain on my plate should bless me. I dont want to miss out on a single blessing that the plate has in store for me. And yes- I take a lot of time while eating because I feel lost in the act of eating. I am lost in the taste, the texture and the whole experience of giving life to my body through an important aspect- eating.
Why, pray tell me- is eating not a meditative experience? It's not like I am telling my neighbor or friends to do exactly the same while eating. And of course- not all meals are like this. Unfortunately I live in a social world where all people want to do is mock at another person for their values or lack of them. But hey- we are democratic. Arent we?
I would love to tell you all to start eating like this- but I wont. There is no benefit or advantages of eating like this. Except heart ache that people sometimes dont get you. But. :-)
Then there are people who laughed at my OCD about using particular utensils for a certain set of activities. There are those who were amused that I change cutlery for different food (use fresh ones for change of a course of a meal if I were not eating with my hand). There are those who think I am too narrow minded because I have issues about eating from someone else's plate or someone else touching my food. Yes- I hate it. I said it. :-) Oh- and then there's another set of people who think i waste mental cycles by keeping so many things in mind about food and react when it doesnt happen to my convenience or comfort.
I felt like explaining this to one or two people- about the madness in the activity called eating. Honestly did. But decided against it because I didnt feel they'd ever see my point of view- and what's more- they dont have to.
Food is life for me. It matters to me that I eat and treat it with respect. There is a difference in my eyes- when you tear a piece of bread and gobble it up vs you look at it, feel happy and then tear that bread. Food is blessed. It cannot be eaten (according to me) if we feel unhappy or sad or if there's terrible company (or company you dont enjoy esp in that moment). And yes- I dont eat when I am angry. I feel that food wont help me or vice versa.
It matters to me that a particular ladle is used to serve a particular type of food. In my own head, they are related emotionally to each other (and yes- I am that mad). So- no, you cant take the rasam ladle and use it to serve rice because in my head, neither rice nor rasam nor the ladle would enjoy that experience.
Yes- I dont like sharing food. Sharing food is an intimate experience and I need to know that food has been prepared by those who lovingly made it to cater to my needs. And yes- I am that mental about eating. Yes- I dont prefer raising my head while I am eating because it matters to me that each grain on my plate feels that they are touched by me and each grain on my plate should bless me. I dont want to miss out on a single blessing that the plate has in store for me. And yes- I take a lot of time while eating because I feel lost in the act of eating. I am lost in the taste, the texture and the whole experience of giving life to my body through an important aspect- eating.
Why, pray tell me- is eating not a meditative experience? It's not like I am telling my neighbor or friends to do exactly the same while eating. And of course- not all meals are like this. Unfortunately I live in a social world where all people want to do is mock at another person for their values or lack of them. But hey- we are democratic. Arent we?
I would love to tell you all to start eating like this- but I wont. There is no benefit or advantages of eating like this. Except heart ache that people sometimes dont get you. But. :-)
No comments:
Post a Comment