I just feel very peaceful today. After a long time. Maybe aeons. Another life. Perhaps? Not being dramatic. There's something very painful but liberating in doing certain things in a military precision and discipline. I started off a few things as practices from the last 8 months or so. But today- I feel especially glad I put myself thru this rigour.
What's changed? I kept doing what my PFC (Pre frontal cortex) of my brain said was good for me. What does this include? Good habits. Good habits that I think are right- I have 0 patience or tolerance right now to sit and debate about why they are right or wrong. It's just my belief and I am sticking to it. I don't want to get into a debate and end up being confused about what I must do for my life. There are debates that remove any clarity sometimes we hold. And that's toxicity. Do not indulge or waste time in those. There's no conclusion or even 'agree to disagree' kind of state of mind. It's just not worth it. But anyway- I digress. This is not about what construes toxicity. Or how to identify it. This is about what we believe is right and sticking to it.
This practices needs utmost discipline and razor sharp focus. All your senses should come together to stand with your mind. I mean- it's a process of aligning emotions and thoughts. As an example- I like listening to vedas. I like singing. So- I like it so much that I like to choose it. Broadly- this means that it is very easy for me to make time for it so I use my time to do something I like. Right? Wrong. What I had observed was that choosing to do what we like is also not easy. Infact it is tougher because as a whole, it creates a conflict and wistfulness in our mind. Both of which I want to consciously resolve.
And my journey to choose what I want to do began. I ear marked a time for this. And no matter what- I will do this. With 100% precision. And thus, the ride began. very few exceptions to this rule. But broadly, I stuck to this. I sang every single day and I listened to vedas every single day in the last 8 months. With no guilt or with not having explain to anyone why I am doing what I am doing. What does it give you? Doing this I mean? It gives you nothing but peace that you are choosing what you believe is something you like or is right.
This process becomes very interesting after a point in time. What it does is to either tell you that what you like is not right. Or not a "like" anymore. Or- it just gives you strength that your body is transforming to make choices that are right. Both the outcomes are excellent. Either way- you learn a little more about you. It's no more about shortcuts or cheating your body or even feeling guilty or terrible about not doing the right thing.
Bet heck yeah! It is difficult. Stay with it. Don't let your body use your Amygdala all the time. Live beyond it. And that's a practice. That's meditation. That's life.
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