Currently all my cards are low. And Lower.
No other job yet. I need to look out better.
My profile is in tatters and I am unable to build it well. COnfusion and brain freeze states alternate.
I am just dumping my emotions here. Very careless. That's what it is.
As one of my close friends say- I am giving my state of mind away.
Actually- this is who I am. In real life. I put all my cards. I give away many things- not just state of mind.
But that's not all I hear... I mean my profile is not the only thing that's bad. When cards are low- it feels like many things are falling apart.
1. I am abusive (I lamented a lot about it)
2. I am manipulative (ouch!)
3. New one- I am extremely judgmental and indulge in public maligning of people.
Who am I? WHat am I?
I struggle on days like this. Arent I a better person than this?
How am I even a decent human being if I do all this- lets say in different and specific contexts and points in time?
I wont say it- but I feel like saying it today. I hate me.
I dont have a thing about me that I like anymore. I hate this person I see in the mirror.
I said it.
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