There are tonnes of books in the market that tells you and teaches you to say "no".
Again on a day like this, I realize while it is difficult for me too a lot of times to say "no", I do wonder what makes me say "yes".
I have a strong sense that the "no" most of the times can kill safety in the eco system- slowly and steadily. As I write this however, I am very conscious of my assumptions. I assumed that universe in general will not take advantage of the other person. And I also believe that all of us will/would need help in our life (time).
Everytime we say no, we add disappointment. We add fear of rejection. We add hesitation. We kill some comfort. We add layers.
And yes- that is the power of no in my book. A book that comes from a person who rarely asks for help. It kills me at times to realize that compassion is so far away in this world. How did we even think we are social beings? A chat with my 6 year old about the way she defined communities (parroted from the teacher I assume) reminded me that clusters of people live together to help each other improve the inches. And still today, here we are successfully limiting the other folks from reaching out by placing barriers, making ourselves as private as possible.
Who are we? And more often than not, do we realize why we are saying "no"? Is it just to prioritize and place our comfort levels over the other? (and contextually, this is still ok, but my point is do we realize to what are we saying no to?)...
PS- The post is not intended at all to stop saying "no" to something we are not comfortable doing in terms of our values. That's not the point. It is from the context of us being just a teeny bit lazy when we say no. I realize I do it a few times. And I realized I also bothered people I did so badly that they hesitate to reach out to me when they need help. I wont say sorry. :-) It wont suffice at all. I do feel responsible to death. And small as a person.
Again on a day like this, I realize while it is difficult for me too a lot of times to say "no", I do wonder what makes me say "yes".
I have a strong sense that the "no" most of the times can kill safety in the eco system- slowly and steadily. As I write this however, I am very conscious of my assumptions. I assumed that universe in general will not take advantage of the other person. And I also believe that all of us will/would need help in our life (time).
Everytime we say no, we add disappointment. We add fear of rejection. We add hesitation. We kill some comfort. We add layers.
And yes- that is the power of no in my book. A book that comes from a person who rarely asks for help. It kills me at times to realize that compassion is so far away in this world. How did we even think we are social beings? A chat with my 6 year old about the way she defined communities (parroted from the teacher I assume) reminded me that clusters of people live together to help each other improve the inches. And still today, here we are successfully limiting the other folks from reaching out by placing barriers, making ourselves as private as possible.
Who are we? And more often than not, do we realize why we are saying "no"? Is it just to prioritize and place our comfort levels over the other? (and contextually, this is still ok, but my point is do we realize to what are we saying no to?)...
PS- The post is not intended at all to stop saying "no" to something we are not comfortable doing in terms of our values. That's not the point. It is from the context of us being just a teeny bit lazy when we say no. I realize I do it a few times. And I realized I also bothered people I did so badly that they hesitate to reach out to me when they need help. I wont say sorry. :-) It wont suffice at all. I do feel responsible to death. And small as a person.
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