There were events in my life that happened in Oct. Just to clarify, these were much awaited and important enough events- important enough, to manage friction and disturbances in our lives. It was not average Joe problems. Some may have resulted in permanent cracks. I wonder sometimes if the events were worth it. And an undoubted, resounding YES comes to my mind as an answer.
There are a few things in my life that are non negotiable. Fk the rest of the world, but I need to achieve some levels of my greatness. Yes, the swim was important. Yes, the song was important. Yes, the stress had to be managed.
The decision of going back to swim the race after my fall took a toll on me. I did not practice as much. My form was terrible. My fitness levels were in general fked up. But I had a weight on my shoulder of representing my state. Suddenly the weight had new boundaries. There was pride. There was passion. I had to go back to race. I had to complete the race. The seconds were important enough. To have a stress free mind was important. With the amount of clutter I collected in the last few days/weeks of the race it almost looked impossible. At this point, I need to acknowledge 2 people who made sure I went to the race and also went with a clear mind. Thanks! It helped. Tremendously. Like you guys wouldn't believe. The completion of race was empowering. The moment in itself was an emotional one for me. A culmination of a lot of things. I am glad I did the swim. I got the 7th place btw- there I said it. I am recording this for posterity.
Things I realized are not easy when major events are in life occur. The concert- the hour long concert for the first time in my life needed 5 months of practice. Needed a lot of juggling. A lot of shameless bargain and plead for support at home- to look after my daughter, to get some chores done. It created an imbalance in a lot of minds. I dont regret it- ashamed of myself that I had to ask favors perhaps, but these were the moments that I realized I am not a super mom. My voice took a toll just about a week before the concert. And a week earlier that I had work related travel where I could not practice. Amidst my voice quality challenge, between heaven and earth I struggled. I truly did. To the extent that I lost motivation and sank in depression- there I admitted to this as well. My health took a toll. I did all the right things to get my voice right and probably the goodwill in general in the universe helped. The concert day dawned and my voice cleared as much as the body could repair. We sailed through the 9 songs- yes we made mistakes. But we completed it.
Challenges are thrown. I dont want to be didactic. But I ruffled the balance around me. I am not proud of myself for it. But these events were important enough for me to ignore my surroundings. The next year, I will time myself for the race and finish the concert in style. The stress hopefully will be managed better. That K was travelling thru these events did hurt. The important people in my life were not witness to this. As they say, we all learn our own private lessons. Better stuff, next year then?
There are a few things in my life that are non negotiable. Fk the rest of the world, but I need to achieve some levels of my greatness. Yes, the swim was important. Yes, the song was important. Yes, the stress had to be managed.
The decision of going back to swim the race after my fall took a toll on me. I did not practice as much. My form was terrible. My fitness levels were in general fked up. But I had a weight on my shoulder of representing my state. Suddenly the weight had new boundaries. There was pride. There was passion. I had to go back to race. I had to complete the race. The seconds were important enough. To have a stress free mind was important. With the amount of clutter I collected in the last few days/weeks of the race it almost looked impossible. At this point, I need to acknowledge 2 people who made sure I went to the race and also went with a clear mind. Thanks! It helped. Tremendously. Like you guys wouldn't believe. The completion of race was empowering. The moment in itself was an emotional one for me. A culmination of a lot of things. I am glad I did the swim. I got the 7th place btw- there I said it. I am recording this for posterity.
Things I realized are not easy when major events are in life occur. The concert- the hour long concert for the first time in my life needed 5 months of practice. Needed a lot of juggling. A lot of shameless bargain and plead for support at home- to look after my daughter, to get some chores done. It created an imbalance in a lot of minds. I dont regret it- ashamed of myself that I had to ask favors perhaps, but these were the moments that I realized I am not a super mom. My voice took a toll just about a week before the concert. And a week earlier that I had work related travel where I could not practice. Amidst my voice quality challenge, between heaven and earth I struggled. I truly did. To the extent that I lost motivation and sank in depression- there I admitted to this as well. My health took a toll. I did all the right things to get my voice right and probably the goodwill in general in the universe helped. The concert day dawned and my voice cleared as much as the body could repair. We sailed through the 9 songs- yes we made mistakes. But we completed it.
Challenges are thrown. I dont want to be didactic. But I ruffled the balance around me. I am not proud of myself for it. But these events were important enough for me to ignore my surroundings. The next year, I will time myself for the race and finish the concert in style. The stress hopefully will be managed better. That K was travelling thru these events did hurt. The important people in my life were not witness to this. As they say, we all learn our own private lessons. Better stuff, next year then?
