As I trudged into the house, I further wilted at the scene in front of me. My aunt was watching a TV show- you know, where they are loud and debate about issues that are beyond our control? Actually, not debate but basically yell at each other?
After a tired day at work the last thing I want to do is to hear a summary of the sensational news of the day. But I do so every single day. because I humour my old aunt who sits alone in the house thru out the day.
And like everyday I hear the hot news. Sigh. Today was the continuation of the news from 10 days back. A person was raped by a gang and she was lit. Today there was an encounter and all the rapists were killed.
People were/are rejoicing that justice is finally received, I am lost in this world. I am shrinking further into my own misery. Is this what the world is all about? You rape and kill someone. Then cry for justice. And then kill the rapists. Collective is dead.
While I am lost in the events and wondering about the reactions, here is what my aunt is saying. And I am wilting further as she is saying these things.
1. How will the parents live knowing the daughter was raped and killed?
2. This happens to many people, but they silently dont talk about rape. They hide (and these are her exact words) these things. How will they live otherwise? And if the society comes to know then they will have to move out of that place and start their life afresh.
3. Imagine the stigma!
And while these thoughts and feelings of how rape can affect the society is being told to me from her perspective, I am wondering how many others think like this? And she is also rejoicing that justice was delivered.
It is a scary world out here. Which pushes you further into the closet and locks you up. Sometimes truly things are external. While you are roaming around this country looking peaceful and trying to look strong, you know the next fight for justice will eventually kill you further.
On a day like this, I live in pain. I live in gloom and doom. I live in emptiness. I live in a place where people debate about things where they are trying to figure out the right word Survivor vs victim.
How does it matter? Like really, whatever and however we call, how does it matter? End of the day, the girl died. And the family laments about the dishonor. And then the death.
But yea- semantics are important. Just like the honor and stigma. That's what our collective is. And you tell that not all of us are like that???? Oh well, I am sure we arent That's the more dangerous category. Atleast the living room jerks will express semantics and opinions. The others? The saintly beings will tell you it doesnt matter. We all belong to the same place. There is no stigma. The stigma is in the head.
I wonder is that even true? Is it really in the head? Yes. Of course! I belong to the more dangerous type. The liberated one.
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