Lack of clarity

 I struggle with clarity. Most times.

I have been thinking very hard about what makes me come to this state every now and then in life- across situations. Like- work, decisions at work, how to not be scared when people yell or behave badly. And so on. 

Point is- internally- I know what I want. The challenge is communicating effectively. To push back when people come all over you- literally and figuratively.

We grow up with so much of conditioning that we be like-able and good. To the extent of doing ourselves self harm. Is that warranted? Why should "nice" come at a cost?

Point is not about lack of clarity. Point is about not being nice. And that is OK. I keep telling myself that- all day, these days.