Picture this... I sit with my laptop frantically searching for words and tying a plot together. And yes, I am sitting by myself. Lil K is sleeping. Husband is at work. I have the house to myself pretty much. For a second or third person, the atmosphere around looks quite peaceful, silent and serene. Perfect setting really to think and write that story that is lurking somewhere within my soul.
I type the first word and then I can 'feel' lil K wailing in her sleep. I put the lappy aside and rush to check on her. She is sleeping like any other baby does- like a baby. I am almost slightly disappointed that she did not need me. I go back to the lappy and I look at the first word and again pick up the previous train of thought.. Wait a min.. Where was I?? Aaah, the first word.
So I try typing the second word- an article now. Easy peasy. Did I smell something burning in the air? Was that fact of reality around me? Or was it the fiction cooking in my mind? I again rush into the kitchen to make sure it is not in the real world. I sigh in relief that it is not real. But the relief is obviously short lived. I come back to my second word. If clutter could be defined then one would just need to peep in my head. You'll find it.
Again, I try and get back to the third word. By then I lost my train of thought. Did I hear a click of door? Is the husband back from work? How was his day today? Bloody why is my work stressing me out? Why cant I speed up my last few meters when swimming? Oh shit!! The cook gave me marching orders. Is the maid going to come tomorrow atleast? What do I give lil K in her box for snack break? Is my dad's health going to be ok? I hope my mom gets her promo this year atleast- it's long overdue. When would my bro get a decent job? When am I going to get out of the peer pressure? Why did the maternity break cost me so much? Is it fair that I take *so much* of pay cut and struggle to come back to what market owes the mean population? When, oh when will I reduce the last 5 kilos of weight? You see the baby is out 5 years ago. And more importantly there is nothing inside me now to justify the 5 month old paunch.
Get the drift? When will I find my mind space to write? And more importantly graduate to finishing the book that I have never started so far?
I type the first word and then I can 'feel' lil K wailing in her sleep. I put the lappy aside and rush to check on her. She is sleeping like any other baby does- like a baby. I am almost slightly disappointed that she did not need me. I go back to the lappy and I look at the first word and again pick up the previous train of thought.. Wait a min.. Where was I?? Aaah, the first word.
So I try typing the second word- an article now. Easy peasy. Did I smell something burning in the air? Was that fact of reality around me? Or was it the fiction cooking in my mind? I again rush into the kitchen to make sure it is not in the real world. I sigh in relief that it is not real. But the relief is obviously short lived. I come back to my second word. If clutter could be defined then one would just need to peep in my head. You'll find it.
Again, I try and get back to the third word. By then I lost my train of thought. Did I hear a click of door? Is the husband back from work? How was his day today? Bloody why is my work stressing me out? Why cant I speed up my last few meters when swimming? Oh shit!! The cook gave me marching orders. Is the maid going to come tomorrow atleast? What do I give lil K in her box for snack break? Is my dad's health going to be ok? I hope my mom gets her promo this year atleast- it's long overdue. When would my bro get a decent job? When am I going to get out of the peer pressure? Why did the maternity break cost me so much? Is it fair that I take *so much* of pay cut and struggle to come back to what market owes the mean population? When, oh when will I reduce the last 5 kilos of weight? You see the baby is out 5 years ago. And more importantly there is nothing inside me now to justify the 5 month old paunch.
Get the drift? When will I find my mind space to write? And more importantly graduate to finishing the book that I have never started so far?
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