Sometimes, I do visit the pages of a few books that talk about relationships (yea yea :-)- I abashedly admit). These are stuff where people write "10 things that tell you...."- get the drift. :-) (And I am grinning now :-) :-) :-))
Thankfully, I read but dont really apply the meters to my life. By that point my amusement anyway ends.
I dont need affirmations. Yea, yea, we should have the ability to forget past. We all can "choose" our future. We should never feel "inadequate". Oh, and this is even better: "It's all in your mind".
On days, when my life has the liberties to run on pause.... I do venture into dangerous territories where I play mind games- with myself. Intellectual wan*ing, if you may.
Here are my findings of the day. :-)
1. It's not always in your head. Do not let anyone tell you that. What we can do about it is the choice we exert. The choice lies with us. But the condition is not always a result of what happens in our minds.
You wore a new dress. You got a haircut. You wrote something nice. You did something nice. All of it has gone unnoticed? Then. If you are feeling bad- you have a right to feel bad. If your relationship is in a phase where the significant other (SO) is not recognizing it because he/she is not ready, then the choice of being in that relationship is surely yours.
Then, the pattern where you feel you have adjusted to that behavior despite what he/she does causes you hurt is NOT OK. It took me a few days to come to that stage to accept. It is NOT OK. Let it be a mantra. It is a value that's close to you and hence it hurts you.
Exert the choice. If we dont have honesty to talk about this, we dont have a relationship. We are just in a useless cycle where we are constantly in a warzone. Not funny.
2. Every fight or argument makes you look stupid? And SO better? Feel like you end up apologizing anyway because the whole war that was inflicted now makes you feel guilty? And more importantly, your point has not come thru?
The choice. Has to be exerted. Again. Now. It is NOT OK.
3. The strain of not picking up fights is turning you passive aggressive? It means there are things that are not getting resolved. For you. Fk the SO. Think for yourself. Take care of yourself first. Things dont get resolved in couples because of mistakes from BOTH sides. Not just one side. Do NOT take the responsibility of it on your pair of shoulders alone. And more importantly if you feel that you are unable to express your unhappiness over something because you are worried about what SO is gonig to think about you..... NOT OK.
4. Incomplete fights? NOT OK.
There are things that we put up. We dont have to. That is a choice we always have. It does not erase the hurt that comes but atleast protect you from not getting the thousand plus one cut is your choice. Truly.
Thankfully, I read but dont really apply the meters to my life. By that point my amusement anyway ends.
I dont need affirmations. Yea, yea, we should have the ability to forget past. We all can "choose" our future. We should never feel "inadequate". Oh, and this is even better: "It's all in your mind".
On days, when my life has the liberties to run on pause.... I do venture into dangerous territories where I play mind games- with myself. Intellectual wan*ing, if you may.
Here are my findings of the day. :-)
1. It's not always in your head. Do not let anyone tell you that. What we can do about it is the choice we exert. The choice lies with us. But the condition is not always a result of what happens in our minds.
You wore a new dress. You got a haircut. You wrote something nice. You did something nice. All of it has gone unnoticed? Then. If you are feeling bad- you have a right to feel bad. If your relationship is in a phase where the significant other (SO) is not recognizing it because he/she is not ready, then the choice of being in that relationship is surely yours.
Then, the pattern where you feel you have adjusted to that behavior despite what he/she does causes you hurt is NOT OK. It took me a few days to come to that stage to accept. It is NOT OK. Let it be a mantra. It is a value that's close to you and hence it hurts you.
Exert the choice. If we dont have honesty to talk about this, we dont have a relationship. We are just in a useless cycle where we are constantly in a warzone. Not funny.
2. Every fight or argument makes you look stupid? And SO better? Feel like you end up apologizing anyway because the whole war that was inflicted now makes you feel guilty? And more importantly, your point has not come thru?
The choice. Has to be exerted. Again. Now. It is NOT OK.
3. The strain of not picking up fights is turning you passive aggressive? It means there are things that are not getting resolved. For you. Fk the SO. Think for yourself. Take care of yourself first. Things dont get resolved in couples because of mistakes from BOTH sides. Not just one side. Do NOT take the responsibility of it on your pair of shoulders alone. And more importantly if you feel that you are unable to express your unhappiness over something because you are worried about what SO is gonig to think about you..... NOT OK.
4. Incomplete fights? NOT OK.
There are things that we put up. We dont have to. That is a choice we always have. It does not erase the hurt that comes but atleast protect you from not getting the thousand plus one cut is your choice. Truly.
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