I go to singing classes that teaches the carnatic variety. I am probably one of the oldest students of her class. When people ask me how it is to still learn at this age, I put cock, saying its very inspirational and great to learn. It de-stresses me and rejuvenates me.
What I don't bother mentioning is the truth. That it sucks to be in a class where you know your ability to learn is decreasing and falling lower at a faster rate. That the younger kids think you maybe a teacher first. That the quality of the tone is bad. That each mistake that originates from your vocals is amplified ten fold and creates exponential amusement amongst the other kids.
The voice shudders and shivers more than it should. Sustenance of notes is pathetic. Strain is high. In general the output sucks. I was told to practice breathing. Improve stamina. The kids sniggered.
It is not about the kids. I am not sure it is me either. Who is this other person who feels like me but not me?
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